By
Burt Prelutsky
I have heard there are native tribes who refuse to be photographed because they fear the camera will snatch away their souls. I used to wonder where they got that quirky idea, but that was a long time ago.
Since then, I have heard Carrie Fisher say, “Obama is brilliant. The thing is, he’s half-white, but that’s not enough for the Tea Bag crowd. For them, it’s all white or (expletive deleted)-off!” Sean Penn hopes his right-wing critics “die screaming of rectal cancer.”
Julia Roberts pointed out that “Republican” in the dictionary comes just after “reptile” and just before “repugnant.”
Susan Sarandon observed that “Sarah Palin’s views are so limiting, they set the women’s movement back years. When you get a woman in government, you want the right woman. You don’t want just any vagina.”
Michael Moore said: “I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a ‘deserter.’ What I meant to say is that he is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants.”
Janeane Garofalo declared that the world was better off when the Soviet Union was a superpower, and, never satisfied to leave bad enough alone, went on to say, “The reason a person is a conservative Republican is because something is wrong with them. That’s science — that’s neuroscience!” About the folks in the Tea Party, she insisted, “It is all about having a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up and they’re nothing but a bunch of tea-bagging rednecks.”
Joy Behar not only defended creepy Joe McGinniss’s decision to purchase a house next door to the Palins, but seconded his comments comparing Palin’s criticism to the behavior of Nazi storm troopers. It reminded me of California gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown’s comparing his opponent, Meg Whitman, to Hitler’s minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels. Is it just my imagination or do some people never give a second thought to Nazis or Islamic terrorists except when they’re looking to compare Republicans to something bad?
Danny Glover, who despises America and adores communism, blames global warming for the earthquake in Haiti. Together with Steven Spielberg, Oliver Stone and Sean Penn, Glover is a charter member of the Fidel Castro/Hugo Chavez Fan Club. Odd, isn’t it, how these people subscribe to all things socialistic except when it comes to their paychecks?
According to George Clooney, “It started with the witch hunts in Salem. The conservatives’ point of view was ‘Burn them at the stake,’ and the liberals’ point of view was ‘There are no witches.’ And that’s how it continued with the civil rights movement and women’s suffrage. The liberals were always right in the end.”
Harry Belafonte slandered Condi Rice and Colin Powell, calling them house slaves. He told Hugo Chavez that he and millions of his fellow Americans supported his Chilean revolution. Then, for good measure, Belafonte called George W. Bush a terrorist, saying he was far worse than the jihadists responsible for 9/11, and labeled the Dept. of Homeland Security America’s Gestapo.
Rosie O’Donnell stuck up for Helen Thomas after the 89-year-old gargoyle told the Israelis to “get the hell out of Palestine” and go back to Poland and Germany.
It took me a good long time to realize that the tribesmen were correct in thinking the camera had a magical way of stealing people’s souls, but, so far as I know, they remain unaware that it can also make off with their brains.
Actually I’m a rather happy go lucky guy with a hobby. My hobby is submitting poorly thought out and executed quasi-op-ed pieces aimed at soliciting responses from those whose superior education and mental state allows them to see my comments for what they are- unworthy of comment. Hey, gotta go, my shrink-there I go again offending- I mean, my mental health professional is waiting.
More sarcasm….just what we need. Keep it coming….WM
This cumulitive pile of human debris is merely a microcosm of the cult of personality alive and well in every voting district in the country. This is the only rationalization that would stand the scrutiny of objectively analyzing the voting habits of the electorate; the habit of voting into office election after election these repeat candidiates whose legislation and voting records border on the insane when it comes to what is good for this country. These candidates both left and right are there, so it appears, to further their persoal wealth, consolidate their own and their party’s power and support an ideology that is contrary to the foundations of this country. The democrats in particular have every right to be as arrogant as they are. In spite of the disasterous legislation both passed and proposed, the obvious lack of any leadership skills on the part of the messiah, the anti-business, anti-capitalist fiscal policies, the runaway taxation looming on the horizon, the anti-american policy decisions both home and abroad, the courting of the Islamic-jihadist world, the detached holier than thou attitude of the king and his bootlickers in every strata of elected office, they have every right not to feel threatened at the polls this coming november. The combination of an electrate that is under educated, ignorant and in denial of both facts and truth, an electorate whose voting habit is no more than a right of passage handed down from generation to generation; Jews voting for politicians who are anti-Israel, whites voting for politicians who would vote to disenfranchise whites if they could get away with it to compliment their life’s work of maiking whites less equal than “minorities, latins who vote for politicians who equate them with law breaking illegals, blacks who vote for politicians whose mission is to keep them in ignorance and poverty. With the help of the democratic party the electorate will not let the facts stand in the way of securing this intergenerational voting pattern. Taking into consideration the spinelessness and moral cowardice of the republican party my money is on the democrats to retain their death grip on this country. Justice will be served once sharia law decrees the shutting down of the Hollywood cesspool and these godless traitors to america receive their comeuppance. Meanwhile the nstate run media will continue to spread the entertainment world’s anti- american disease.
Burt Prelutsky, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. I believe his intent was humorous sarcasm….WM