” . . . the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.”
William Shakespeare – ” The Merry Wives of Windsor”
Where’s the gasex?
The Australian Government’s plans to enact a law for an emissions trading scheme are in chaos and the opposition Liberal party is in meltdown over the climate change legislation. But Australian scientists have their own cunning plan to stop global warming – breed a sheep that doesn’t burp.
Farting cows and sheep have been blamed for most of the methane emissions that have helped take Australia to the top of the world’s carbon footprint league table. Around 12 per cent of the country’s total greenhouse gas emissions originate with agriculture, and 70 per cent of that amount is made up of methane, which has 17 times the environmental warming capacity of carbon dioxide. (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6936677.ece)
Thinking on the elimination of flatulence in animals I wondered what do we do about people, specifically politicians. But, I have an idea. If we are to accept that animals promote CO2 from their flatulence, then we need to address the stench emanating form Washington D.C. If we were to eliminate the foul smells spewing from the mouths of politicians, they would have nothing to say; that might clear the air a bit.
However, the wrench in developing such a program might be Al Gore. Mr. Gore, never one to miss making a few bucks on the side, might suggest developing a “flatulence credit” program. Politicians could pay a certain amount so they would not have to stop fouling the air and Gore could use the money to do whatever he does with the money he makes from his “credits” scams.
So I guess there is no real solution to this dilemma. At this point I will have to stop because any solution to global flatulence is well above my pay grade. I will however, print any essay tendered that offers a solution to that problem because we really do need to clear the air. Just my opinion.
William McCullough
Again the obvious. We may kill three birds with one stone. First we hire signing teachers for all those in congress, their staffs, reporters and any and all having business in those once hallowed halls; Ozbama solves the employment problem and scores points with the SUI, signing union international. Secondly with the verbal diahrea no longer coming out of DC we solve the pollution. And thirdly we show the world how sensitive we are to the hearing impaired and start a world wide movement to eliminate speech in seats of government around the globe. Of course as with the gay community those paired will have their advocates demanding extra and special rights. For example,If we do not hear when someone speaks to us we will be banned from asking, “What did you say?” After all to ask would be insensitve and racist and so once again we become victims of the unintended consequences of not listening.